Kingdom of Loathing slime tube sea chanty

I'm backdating this post to the chanty's date of composition, because I realized that I didn't write a single "real" song in the entire month of June. In my defense, June was a month in which many events took place, and indeed, Ravel at the war was a very tough act to follow, songwise. But still, a song a month is about where I'd settled to, production-wise, and it offends my songwriting sensibilities to have less.

This is a pirate chanty with a rollicking little tune. I wrote it from sheer happiness, because the clan of which I am a member, The Rollicking Band of Pirates, has opened its third Slime Tube. This is a special adventuring zone which exists only in clan basements, and I had been saddened by my small amounts of participation in the first two Tubes.

The chanty is intensely spoileriffic and makes absolutely no sense out of context. Nonetheless, it may amuse.

I'm going in to the tube of slime
it's hard to find many words that rhyme
with tube of slime, or the slimy tube
I got beaten up there like a n00b

I'm going to get me some slimy cysts
find all the marbles that I have missed
they rolled right out of my pirate brain
into the depths of a slimy drain

I'm going into the tube of slime
surely I'll have me a lovely time
tickling a uvula hung down low
so that our slime-covered loot will grow

I'm going to get me a slimy hat
so that slime cannot knock me flat
with it perched on my head like a Jughead proud
I'll guzzle bile till I'm good and plowed

I'll venture into the slime tube now
wipe the gunk from my face with a chamois--wow!
basementy deeds, when they're done dirt cheap
with your best mates--arr! tell me, who needs sleep?