riding the wheel

In the last four or five days I've had several bad moments, times when I panicked or freaked out or got angry irrationally. The combination of Dave's kindness and level-headedness and cocooning in various forms for entertainment has served to keep my little bouts of crazy from spilling out too much. Also I seem to be making interior headway on them (trying to maintain a Demon Free Lifestyle, har har). I say this because my crazytimes are shorter than in months past, easier to unravel, and tend more to frightening expressions of inappropriate emotion than crazy plans or trying to make people do things which seem very important to my crazy but actually don't matter. The important thing for me, in a time like this as in every time, is to be able to relax. As Dave told me yesterday, everything's not going to suddenly fall apart if I get a case of the fuck-its.

That "DON'T PANIC" tattoo seems like a better and better idea.

Me and Dave have been listening to The Who a lot lately. It was the Rock Honors that did it, with a string of excellent (and not so excellent but still quite competent) bands performing some of The Who's greatest hits, capped off by a performance from the two surviving members. Now, I'd never really liked the album Tommy. Not because it was bad--I would never have argued that!--but because the thing it's about frightens me. Reading about Hellen Keller frightened me too, until I learned that in her adult life she was an ardent socialist and devoted her energy to political activism. (That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure does a mean march on city hall.)

[The remainder of this post was lost due to closing the browser without hitting save. It will be referred to later, as the dropped text was at least partially remembered and may have been used for other things.]