five, six, pick up sticks.

Just finished Tuesday's post. Last paragraph and a half or so. Nice to be able to complete a thought across a span of time. Makes you feel like a whole person.

Got shit to do, get to it soon, yada yada. Determines whether I and everyone get our checks Friday or Monday.

Had a dream last night. Been having dreams, and no slouchy dreams at that. But aside from a few Post-It sized carryover images, nothing much for most of 'em. This one, though. In this dream I had telekinesis. Through the whole thing! And I used it constantly and it felt great! I've had telekinesis in dreams in the past, and the actions and powers of it always feel the same. I wonder if there was real-life tk I could have, if it would feel the same? There's some of the same full lightness I associate with gravity, the joy so pure there isn't a word for it that stands at the roots of time. That feeling, that can't be felt with just the brain but needs the whole body and spirit and the surrounding world too, I think is the essential central thing that makes magic possible. It's just different angles of it, different ways of experiencing little bits of it with different modes of self.

But anyway it was great to have this in the dream. My hands were my focus points; I'd reach for something with my hand, and reach further out with this feeling and grasp it and pick it up. It acted a little like a field. I could pick up a whole pile of objects in each hand, as long as it wasn't too heavy, and carry them around as I walked (or ran, or fled, hard to say). While I was holding stuff like that I could heft its weight and tell about its roughness or brittleness--kind of get a feel for what type of thing it was, same as when you're holding something in your hand. Only there wasn't any skin and such to carry the message. I just knew what it was I was carrying because I was holding it. (Most of it was junk though. I think I may have just needed stuff to throw at people. Or perhaps I was tidying up. XD)

Things in waking life are so heavy. I'm kind of glad they are. The world would be an exhausting place if we were constantly matching wills with one another to prevent each other from uprooting the landscape in a temper tantrum. It's exhausting enough as it stands! The easiest mistake to make with wishing things about magic, at least for me, has been that thing that ass Kant talked about so much. If it's true for me, it has to be true for everybody. If I could move things around with my power, then everyone else could too, provided they'd bothered to develop the skill! And you better believe they would once the first person started throwing things around.