please don't trample the water lilies

Good weekend, feeling pretty good. Don't at all feel like writing or posting up which is why I think I should. Didn't answer calls from Amber and Pearl this weekend, didn't get the feeling they were uber urgent, I'll call back eventually. Missed Mom's b-day, no call no show no card. Meg and Fey had both called me the previous evening, which I also missed, most likely among other things to remind me not to forget Mom's b-day. I hope she didn't give them grief for me forgetting.

Anyway the thing I wanted to not write about (which is why I think I ought to write about it) is about my visual imagination and fear of mirrors. Talked with Clarissa this morning and told her about shutting my visual imagination off and how I did it, and she very sensibly said that whatever needs to come back in should return by the same door it went out. Or something like that. Which makes me feel as pouty and recalcitrant as thinking about taking better care of myself so as to look nice and be treated in accordance with my hotness and professionalism. All of these things are water magic. The visual imagination, the use of mirrors, the perceptions of others based on your appearance and demeanor and the different interaction styles this makes default or easily available for you, and of course the process of cathection itself. By which is meant, the binding together of emotion and memory so that both memory of event and the internal clock of the evolution of the personality are contiguous through time. The evolution clock can't (as far as I know!) be tampered with, although it takes practice to access it and really the only info it contains is what it's made of--like psychic DNA, you have to turn it into something else before you have any idea what it's going to turn into. But the memory-of-event time track itself, as everyone from Freud to Foul Ole Ron will tell you, is as easy to fuck with a thing as you could ask for.

So yes. I have lots of fun issues with water magic to work on. And the fact that I'm writing them down, growly about it or no, indicates I'm about do be able to / find it necessary to do something about at least some of them.