Tuesdays With Abhorrent Fiends vol. 29

Happy April Fools Day.

I've been dancing around with rage all morning, so of course now, when I finally sit down with a nice cup of tea and a blank window to type in, it deflates in a most ballooninated manner.

Dad annoys me and so too does my guilt for increasing his misery by not hiding from him that I wish to escape being his sole means of support. Dammit, when his father was dying horribly and everyone everyone everyone in the community was walking up to him and reminding him every hour of his painful misery, he figured out a way where he got to go kill people and break things to relieve his internal tension. What do I get to do to relieve my internal tension, which of course (like everything I will ever do or say or think) is far less impressive or important than my father's? Smoke pot? Play videogames? Write poetry no one wants to buy?

Mom annoys me by calling me endlessly at work and finding new jobs for me which just coincidentally would be SO much easier to get to if I were to stay at her house. Just temporarily. Hey news flash, Mom. I am extremely aggravated by Dad because he is a horrible old man and his misery roils my gut and makes my teeth grind. But HE IS STILL BETTER THAN YOU.

Lady boss annoys me by saying things like "you know, I wish you would just take a little responsibility for x" when what she really means is "x is technically other people's job but I want you to do it anyway because you're physically closest to it."

Main boss annoys me by not obeying lady boss and making her irritable, which causes the suffering of many. He should obey her, by the by, because compared to her he is scatterbrained and highly impractical about everything outside his kitchen.

And I have an uncomfortable stinging sensation in a very inconvenient spot right now, between the stubble and the cold/sore throat thingy I just got the upper hand over and the very high levels of acid being produced in my digestive system. Not that you needed to know that, because you don't. But I'm in a bad enough mood I want to pass along a little eew!

And stupid landlord shook my hand this morning and again asked me not to smoke on the stoop even though I wasn't anywhere near the stoop at the time, which means someone complained to him. So fine. I'll start sitting in the middle of the goddamn sidewalk and see if he likes that better.

I am not only out of Free Library books, I did a stupid thing and finished March to the Stars at home last night instead of saving it for today, when I could really have used the mental picture of Adib Julian fragging a spaceship corridor with overloaded plasma bolts in a fit of fury. Very cathartic. Among all the other cathartic images. (So yeah, minor spoiler, but I think anyone who's read the first two books will be happy to know Julian's still alive by the time the group gets to the spaceport. Many others are also alive! But not all those you'd expect!) Upshot is, I have nothing to print out and read while I'm outside NOT sitting on Bob and Steve's precious stoop. I guess I'll take my discman out there or something.

I did leave a fun note on our point-of-sale system. It said that there would be a water buffalo delivery tonight in lieu of chairs for the Bigfoot party and to please remember the buffalo diapers since we didn't want to be cleaning up after them ourselves. In honor of the day.


Amber E said...

Yay for not letting down the day and working in a prank. I was awful and lazy and did no pranks. I am over the worst of the Martian death flu and just have some residual fatigue and squeaky voice. Although it is not as convenient as the free library you might enjoy the free books that can be read online at:


the only bad thing is that the entire book opens up on one page and you scroll down so if you are going back to it you can have trouble finding your page. Love ya dear, Amber